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Don’t Be a Motor Moron

Motor: Involving or relating to movements of the muscles

Moron: A stupid person

Motor Moron: Someone who doesn’t have the basic strength and coordination to handle their own body

The people that visit this site certainly aren’t your average people. Not everyone wants to be able to stand on one hand or doing crazy acrobatics.

But the truth is everybody should be able to do the most basic skills. And its sad that so many people cannot. Even many people who are considered strong or in shape sometimes have the movement skills of an infant.

So in this article I want to talk about the skills that EVERYONE should have. No two ways about it, short of paralysis. Everybody should be able to do the following things without much if any effort.

And I’ll go so far as to say that if you can’t do the following you don’t deserve to have the miraculous machine that is the human body. (And the sad truth is it probably won’t be too long before you lose it.)

  • Walk
  • Run
  • Sprint
  • Jump
  • Get up from the ground without using your hands
  • Squat down and be able to stay there
  • Roll in all 8 directions

Roll in 8 Directions

If you can’t do the above then you need to work on them. These are basic human movement patterns everyone should be capable of.

To get slightly more complicated (but still sticking with things everyone should be capable of) we can add the following.

  • Pushups
  • Pullup/Chinnup
  • Swim
  • Headstand
  • Gymnastic Bridge
  • Wrestlers Bridge
  • Move each joint individually

This is a basic list. But can you do everything on it? And can you do everything on it easily without effort?

But I’m surely missing some things. Add your comments below if you have suggestions and I‘ll add to the list.

From there we can start to get into more advanced movement patterns along with acrobatic skills. I’ll save that for another time.

I’m sure to hear the excuses come out of the woodworks from many people on this one. To give every reason why they can’t do these things. But save it. Instead just work on gaining the ability to do these movements if you don’t have it. Even if you need coaching on these skills, get it.

And for those of you that may laugh at this list because you are so far beyond it, there are probably people in your life that you could nudge in the right direction to get them to move better.

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18 Responses to Don’t Be a Motor Moron

  1. Andrew May 4, 2011 at 2:26 pm #

    What exactly do you mean by Roll in all 8 directions? At first I assumed forward roll, backwards roll, then I wasn’t sure how you’d define a sideways roll.

  2. Lawrence May 4, 2011 at 9:37 pm #

    I think he means a sideways shoulder roll for the side and diagonal directions.

  3. Maurice May 5, 2011 at 2:56 am #

    I’m confused with the diagonal rolling

  4. Logan May 5, 2011 at 11:38 am #

    I’ll shoot a quick video that shows you all 8 directions of rolling and the different ways to do it.

  5. jim May 5, 2011 at 2:35 pm #

    It doesn’t actually matter if you can’t roll about in eight directions, just so long as your happy.

    • Logan May 5, 2011 at 3:47 pm #

      @jim: I would not be happy if I couldn’t do basic movements (as well as much more) like I listed above.

  6. Gerald May 6, 2011 at 11:04 am #

    Logan you’re hilarious.

    Keep up the hard work.
    You’re doing it right. 🙂

  7. Eli May 7, 2011 at 12:26 am #

    By moving all joints independently, do you also count the joints in your fingers and toes? because i can defiantly move all of my major joints independently but i just tried to wiggle my middle toe by it’s self and i’m pretty sure it’s just about impossible.

    • Logan May 8, 2011 at 1:52 pm #

      @Eli: That would be a little more advanced, the toes more so than the fingers but yes I think independent control of them all would be great.

  8. Alan August 11, 2011 at 1:00 am #

    I think it’s rather severe to say that being unable to do a set of skills you think are important means someone doesn’t deserve their body. I’m a drummer and a pianist, should I say that people who don’t meet a certain level of criterion musically don’t deserve their ears? I think it’s fair to say that the coordination I have in my hands and fingers is greater than yours. Am I more deserving of them? What about people who live their lives in their minds: artists, engineers, writers, musicians, professors, mathematicians, et cetera ad infinitum – do these people really need to know how to roll sideways? It’s a bit silly.

    • Logan Christopher August 11, 2011 at 9:03 am #

      @Alan: All I’m saying is having basic movement skills will aid in the life of every single person, even if they never use it, through better health and longevity. Everybody needs to be able to move around, and I think there are certain aspects the should be a bare minimum to that. Not everyone needs to play music, though it would improve many a person’s life to do so.

  9. JOe App October 6, 2011 at 1:15 pm #

    Yeah, just go roll.

  10. Professional Pro January 26, 2012 at 12:50 am #

    Logan… you forgot the barrel roll!

  11. Jean-Luc June 18, 2012 at 11:13 am #

    Thanks! I need to work on my rolls (not spring rolls, though).

  12. Paul BELIZERE June 11, 2013 at 8:43 am #

    If you want to master your body, please do check SYSTEMA KADOCHNIKOVA’s lower acrobatics. This is the Russian Martial Art way of moving for combat conditioning, and it is awesome !

    • admin June 11, 2013 at 2:28 pm #

      Will do.


  1. Getting Up Without Your Hands | Lost Art of Hand Balancing - May 9, 2011

    […] This is a follow up to my post on Don’t Be a Motor Moron. […]

  2. Rolling in 8 Directions | Lost Art of Hand Balancing - May 11, 2011

    […] part of the Motor Moron […]

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